Wouldn’t we all love to live in a world full of limitless opportunities? A place where everyone is treated fairly and equally sounds like Utopia. Unfortunately, this is not the reality of the society we live in. Truth is we all have limitations to overcome in order to achieve our goals. Some limitations are self imposed. Yet others are imposed by our socialization and training.
Have you ever wondered why some people seem to be able to meet their goals with ease and others struggle time and time again? Our culture and gender determine our starting point in life and often heavily influence our destiny. However, there is an alternative. There is a way to escape the self defeating habits we’ve been taught and stop making mistakes that limit our possibilities.
Do any of these common mistakes sound familiar to you?
-Mistake #3: Working too hard. The truth is, no woman was ever promoted purely because of hard work. Learn to “waste” a little time.
-Mistake #26: Decorating your office like your living room. Unless you’re an interior decorator, it doesn’t pay. Reevaluate your office decor.
-Mistake #27: Feeding others. You’re not “Mom”or Betty Crocker. Think twice before you put food on your desk.
-Mistake #59: Asking permission. Children, not adults, ask for approval. Be direct, be confident.
-Mistake #73: Smiling inappropriately. When men don’t smile they’re taken seriously. Make your demeanor fit the situation.
I recently discovered 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers, many of which I have made and am currently working to correct myself. These mistakes are grouped into eight categories beginning with the foundational understanding that, in business, it’s all about how you play the game. Pretending it isn’t a game, doing the work of others, being naive, and protecting jerks are a few of the ways that women quickly fall behind on the career scoreboard; and we all know numbers don’t lie. Recognizing unspoken rules and acknowledging imaginary boundaries is one area where women are not quite as skilled as men (if dating isn’t a prime example of this I don’t know what is!?). As a result we tend to be at a disadvantage. Business is a game and you can certainly win, but only if you play.
Although we may not be auditioning for a role on the silver screen, we are judged by how well we understand the nuances of what it means to act in a professional manner. Soliciting the input and opinions of others before making a decision, offering too much help, and denying the importance of money are common mistakes made by ladies. Our organically nurturing, helpful nature informs how we chose to behave. This can be detrimental in a professional setting. We can avoid these pitfalls by learning to balance our inclination to serve others with serving ourselves.
How we think, look, and sound make up our personal brand and help when it comes to marketing ourselves. One mistake I decided to correct immediately was to stop letting people waste my time. Other mistakes listed were staying in your safety zone, over explaining, apologizing, and grooming in public (which I think all of us ladies have been guilty of). We have to learn to view the workplace as a marketplace where you are the product. Once we identify what distinguishes us from others we can market those distinctions as our unique brand.
Historically, disenfranchised groups live according to the will of those who hold the money, power, and respect.
“Those with less power live in a zone circumscribed by people with more power. White men, being on the top of the hierarchy, decide what’s appropriate behavior for everyone else, including women.”
Reading about these 101 Mistakes has thoroughly illuminated my understanding and consciousness as it pertains to my potential in business and in life. As the fog of a lifetime of gender bias, and socioeconomic prejudice clears I am challenging myself to be intentional about wielding my power to achieve success every day. What will you do to correct the mistakes you’ve been making in your career?
By Rochelle Davis, MAEd/TEd
http://mrsrochelledavis.wix.com/wutsoevrthngsrluvly
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